


somewhere i have never travelled

by zefrumiousbandersnatch



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 02:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zefrumiousbandersnatch/pseuds/zefrumiousbandersnatch
Summary: Where were they?“We’re in Carrigaholt,” Lena’s voice said, followed by the sound of the trunk closing. When Kara met her eyes, they were soft and her smile small but genuine. “This is the house I lived in before I became a Luthor.”-Over the years, Lena takes Kara to places she's lived in and in the process they find a home.





	1. house on a hill, National City

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from E.E. Cummings' somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond.  
>   
> Each chapter is about a year apart.

**V. House on a hill, National City**

Lex Luthor was sentenced to death on a Tuesday.

The headlines hit every screen in the bullpen and Kara managed to read two sentences before she grabbed her purse and bolted out the door.

 

 -

 

“Lena?” Kara called out softly, knocking on the door.  

When she arrived at L-Corp, the front of the building was already swarmed by members of the media. She noticed law enforcement slowly forming a barricade around the entrances, pushing back on microphones and cameras hoping to get a glimpse of Lena Luthor herself.

Lena’s direct line had led her to Jess, who in turn told Kara that Lena had not come in that day. She quietly asked Kara to take care of Lena and Kara nodded her head fervently.

“Lena, please.”

Kara fidgeted at the door, half tempted to use her x-ray vision to make sure nothing bad had happened. She looked at her phone and eyed the string of unanswered text messages from the past week.

“Lena,” Kara started slowly. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. And if you needed a friend. I know I’ve upset you. You didn’t laugh at the corgi joke, and I even sent a picture. I want to know what I can do to fix it. But I’m here, if you need me. I, can I come in?”

The door opened slowly just as she touched her glasses.

“Kara,” Lena said quietly, nonplussed face not fooling Kara. Lena looked like she was debating something with herself before she nodded and stepped aside.

 

-

 

“I’m surprised you didn’t just fly here and land on my balcony.”

The comment caught Kara by surprise. They hadn’t spoken since Kara entered and asked her how she was, Lena giving a noncommittal ‘so, so.’

She snapped her head up from her glass of wine and looked at the woman next to her. She opened her mouth to speak but held her tongue. Lena, for her part, looked at her with an intense gaze. It felt like a test. Kara wanted to look away, but decided against it.  

“I always thought you were too smart to not figure it out eventually,” Kara said with a small smile. “I’ll admit this isn’t how I planned on telling you. I was hoping for something more dramatic. And heroic, at least on my part. Potentially involving me coming to your rescue and flying you off to safety. Again.”

She put her glasses down and quickly glanced out to National City, at the shining lights below.

“When you spend years trying to blend in, it just becomes second nature to hide who you are as a person. I was afraid,” she looked back at Lena.

Lena looked at Kara with slight confusion, like this was not the answer she was expecting.

“For me. And for you, too,” Kara explained. “Being Supergirl’s friend can be dangerous. And you don’t need another reason to be targeted.”

Lena remained quiet and Kara laughed nervously.

“This probably would have gone better with the suit. It always goes better with the suit.”

Lena leaning on the counter and putting her face in her hands was not the reaction Kara had hoped to elicit. Neither were the shaking shoulders.

Kara reached out tentatively.

“Lena,” Kara started apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

Lena turned her head and continued laughing.

“Oh,” Kara let out, surprised at the turn of events.

“You are something else, Kara Danvers,” Lena said after her laughter had subsided.

 

-

 

Kara held the pictures in her hand like they were made of fragile papyrus. She looked at young Lena and Lex smiling at the camera.

Lena cradled her drink and leaned back against the bed. She started picking at the carpeting as Kara continued her inspection.

“It was my first day of school,” Lena explained with a fond smile on her face. “I was so proud of our matching sweaters.”

Lena’s voice sounded funny, like she was struggling to keep herself composed. Kara looked at the other picture--Lena’s graduation. Lex had a more tempered smile, his arm slung around Lena while she showed off her diploma.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said quietly, putting the pictures back in the box.

Lena wordlessly leaned closer and rested her head on Kara’s shoulder.

“I lost him a long time ago,” She said quietly. “Watching him fade away was painful, because I couldn’t do anything about it. I thought I would be the one who could pull him back to the light. I thought if Lex would come back for anyone, it would be for his little sister.”

She hesitated. Kara wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

“Does it make me a terrible person? That I’m heartbroken?” She asked quietly.

Kara leaned her head on Lena’s.

“No,” She started slowly. “No, it doesn’t.”

Lena didn’t say anything; she reached out for one of the pictures instead.

“Tell me something funny.”

Kara knitted her eyebrows to think of an answer.

“NPR liked my piece. They even asked me to be contributing reporter. What a joke.”

She felt Lena pull away from her.

“Kara,” she admonished. “That’s not funny! That’s amazing!”

Kara smiled and held up the picture of chubby kindergarten Lena.

“Not as amazing as your lunchbox.”

Lena’s face turned crimson.

“Wonder Woman is amazing, okay.”

 

-

 

In the United States, the average time spent on death row was 15 years. Some inmates died of illness or age prior to execution. A rare few were released from death row after being proven innocent.

Lex Luthor, on the other hand, met his end eight months after his sentencing.

Lena Luthor was noticeably absent at his execution.

 

-

 

Lena’s house on a hill (as Kara’d started calling it) glimmered like a beacon as she flew closer. It stood high above National City: isolated, tall, and proud.  But it was also made of glass, easy to see in if one tried hard enough (or happened to have the ability to fly). Inside, underneath the elegance and the utilitarianism, was a warmth Kara had gotten to know in the past year.

Lena sat by the pool with her arms wrapped around her legs. She didn’t move her eyes away from the setting sun when Kara approached.

“Hey,” Kara said softly, sitting next to Lena.

“Hey,” Lena whispered.

They sat quietly and Kara took Lena’s hand into her own.


	2. Luthor Mansion, Metropolis

**IV. Luthor Mansion, Metropolis**

It was imposing to say the least. Intimidating.

Kara looked over to her left, where Lena had yet to move since the car stopped. She reached over and touched her knee. Lena snapped out of her reverie and looked over.

Kara smiled.

“Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Lena said quietly. She inhaled hard, closed her eyes, and nodded to herself.

Kara looked out the window again to stare at the imposing façade. As they stepped out of the car, she noted it looked very lonely. Like the world had turned and left it in the dust, forgotten and abandoned.

It unnerved her but she steeled herself.

Lena led the way. She greeted at the butler and entered the Luthor Mansion, a place she once called home.

 

-

 

Lillian Luthor was dead. On the anniversary of her son’s execution, the Luthor matron proved to have one more trick up her sleeve. Poison was smuggled in with fine clothes and jewelry, a letter was written and signed, and the warden opened the door to a meticulously dressed body laid out on the white bed.

Lena Luthor, as it stood, was the last living Luthor and the sole heir to the vast Luthor wealth.

 

-

 

“I wonder if Alex would like this,” Lena mused. She held up rare medical texts for Kara to see. They were in the library that housed the extensive Luthor collection, knee deep in books and artifacts. Kara walked over to stand next to Lena. She watched as Lena flipped the book open and listened as Lena explained that it was a French Revolution era medical journal.

“Or Eliza. She would probably appreciate the entire collection.”

Kara looked at Lena with a small smile. Lena paid no attention to her and continued to flip the pages.

“Yeah,” She agreed quietly. “They probably would.”

“We’ll let them sort it out,” Lena finally looked at Kara. Kara promptly looked down at the book, like she had been caught doing something she wasn’t allowed to. She ran her hand down the spine of the book.

“I actually saw a couple of other things…” Lena trailed off and walked towards another pile. She went on about manuscripts and blueprints Winn would like. And a collection of photographs and cameras dating back to the inception of photography for James.

Kara watched with a soft look on her face. She smiled as Lena talked and dug through piles of undoubtedly priceless artifacts she was willing to hand out to their friends and Kara’s family. She shook her head and moved to help Lena lift something that was obviously too heavy for her.

“What’s the point of bringing the guns to the gun show if you’re not going to use it?” She joked as she took the old gramophone from Lena. “Hey, do you think this still works?”

“Likely,” Lena said with a determined look on her face. Kara lowered the gramophone on the desk and looked around for a record. She yelled triumphantly as she found one and handed it to Lena. Kara watched in amazement as Lena set up the gramophone: she blew air to dust the record in her hand, turned the crank several times, and gently lowered the tone arm. Soft notes started floating around the room.

Kara turned with a bright smile, hand held out for Lena.

“Can I have this dance?” She asked. Lena laughed and took her hand.

 

-

 

“I always found this place beautiful, in a melancholic way,” Lena explained as they swayed slowly to the music.

“What will you do with the estate?” Kara asked out of the blue. She felt Lena hold on tighter.

Lena had explained to Kara that Luthor Mansion had been the seat of the Luthor family since the Gilded Age. It irked Lillian Luthor to no end that it was only the _second_ largest private home in the United States, after the Vanderbilt’s Biltmore Estate (‘And what have the Vanderbilts done in the last decade, other than produce Anderson Cooper?’).

Lena once mentioned—after an entire bottle of wine—she was determined to take the Luthor name with her to the grave. Nothing was more Luthor than the Luthor Mansion.

“I’m donating it,” Lena said slowly. “It would be a great orphanage and school.  It would have to be sustainable, so part of it has to be income generating. It’s grandiose enough for an upscale hotel, with weddings and other events. And large enough to keep the two parts separate. The artifacts and books can go to museums and the Library of Congress. Probably auction off some things for charity. What do you think?”

Kara pulled back slightly to look at Lena, not bothering to hide the adoration on her face. They were so close—she could see the flecks of gold in Lena’s green eyes. If her face felt warm and flushed, Kara ignored it.

“I think that’s wonderful,” Kara murmured.

 

-

 

The next morning, Kara swung her legs from a work bench and watched as Lena busied herself under one of the many cars in the garage. She looked around and took stock of the building. There were tool boxes lining the walls, tools hanging from hooks, spare parts neatly labeled and organized. Behind her was a giant corkboard covered with tacky stickers. She recognized some, like Ferrari and Bentley.

A noise brought her attention back to Lena tinkering. She smiled. Last night, Lena mentioned this building was her favorite and Kara saw why. It was polished and beautiful outside, but brilliant and busy inside, much like the woman muttering to herself under the car.

“Can you pass the torque wrench?” Lena asked, hand sticking out expectantly.

Kara jumped off the bench, looking around for what she imagined a torque wrench would look like.

“Here,” She said and ultimately decided on something metal and long. Lena’s greasy hand grasped the tool and pulled it under the car. Kara immediately heard her laugh. She rolled out from under the car and sat up.

“Kara, this is not a torque wrench.”

Her smile was so radiant. Lena was in her element, grease on her cheek and errant strand of hair loose from the bun on her head.

“You have something on your face,” Kara said weakly. She reached out to tuck the strand of hair. Her hand reached over to cup Lena’s cheek instead of falling back to her side. She swiped her thumb and spread the grease smudge on Lena’s cheekbone in an attempt to clean it.

Kara was mesmerized.

For the first time in almost two years of friendship, Lena was the one who looked nervous and unsure. Kara watched her throat bob as she swallowed. They had been on this precipice for so long now, it was unnerving to finally take the jump.

“Can I kiss you?” Kara asked quietly.

“Only if I can kiss you back,” Lena countered.

As she leant in, Kara realized all this time she had been wrong. There was something better than flying for the first time.


	3. Brillantmont School, Lausanne

**III. Brillantmont School, Lausanne**

To say the flight to Lausanne was wrought with tension was an understatement. The attendant did his best, but the two sole occupants of the private jet looked at anything but each other. They faced each other with a small table between them but had not uttered a word since boarding.

Lena busied herself with her tablet, undoubtedly reading through documents for work.

Kara kept on sneaking glances at her decidedly very angry girlfriend. If Lena jabbed at the tablet any harder, she would very likely poke a hole into the LCD display. She sighed and looked out the window. The captain’s voice rang through the quiet compartment and announced their arrival. Kara heard the discreet sigh of relief from the attendant, who had buckled himself in.

After another glance at Lena, Kara saw that she had put away her tablet and was instead crushing her fingers in an attempt to remain stoic. Lena had never gotten over her dislike for flying and the subsequent attempts on her life while she was airborne didn’t help.

Quietly and without looking at her, Kara reached over and took one of Lena’s hands in hers.

 

-

 

“I was standing right here when I got the phone call.”

Lena didn’t turn to address Kara as she spoke. She leaned against the window frame, arms crossed and eyes looking out at the city below. The crystal blue of Lake Geneva glistened under the sinking summer sun, and beyond lake, the ice capped Alps stood firm against a cloudless sky. Lena looked like a vision in her dress.

They had arrived earlier that day and received a tour of the school from two nervous school girls. Kara found the girls to be kind and attentive but they were enamored with Lena. So when Lena requested to see a specific room, the girls went out of their way to oblige.

“A heart attack,” Lena explained. “I missed the first few calls because we had gone swimming in the lake. He was dead by the time I returned to my room.”

Kara listened silently, afraid her own voice would break the spell. She looked around at the dorm room their tour guides had left them in—previously Lena’s in another life. The current owners were away for summer vacation, but it very much looked lived in. There were two small beds, posters on the wall, origami hanging from the ceiling, and large windows flooding the room with sunlight. It was something to imagine: a young and carefree Lena Luthor lying down on her stomach, reading magazines and chatting with her roommate.

“Lex was the one who called. He was so quiet; like he was afraid saying it would make it come true.”

“What happened after that?”

Lena’s shoulders sagged.

“I grew up,” She said plainly. “Finished school, packed up this room, and never looked back.”

After a beat, Lena continued.

“My father was larger than life,” She continued. “Our relationship was distant, but father was fond of me. I think Lex secretly resented that.”

Kara fidgeted with her glasses.

“Once when I was young, he sat me on his knee in his office and gave me a chess piece. A white queen. He told me that Lex was the name, but I was the force to be reckoned with on the chessboard.”

“Lena,” Kara started. “I’m sorry.”

When Lena turned, Kara saw the telling signs of her girlfriend attempting to rein in her disappointment.

“You lied,” Lena said softly. It wasn’t accusatory or angry. Just hurt and betrayed. It was worse than any screaming or yelling that Kara had hoped she would receive when they finally talked about this.

“You looked me in the eye and lied to my face,” Lena continued. “And I wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for your sister rushing me out of my apartment at some ungodly hour because she didn’t know if you were going to make it or not.”

“Lena…” Kara began.

“You were tortured and I was at home, doing something mundane like reviewing budgets and responding to emails. For fuck’s sake.”

Kara flinched a little. Lena hardly ever swore.

“What if I had missed the call again?” She added quietly.

Like Lionel. Kara softened at the realization. She slowly approached Lena.

“I know what I signed up for, Kara,” Lena said softly. “I know what it means to love a superhero. I just wish you would give me the courtesy of letting me know if you were going on a suicide mission.”

“I'm sorry,” Kara repeated quietly. “I can't promise to never get hurt... But I can promise to always keep you updated.”

Lena’s arms were wrapped tightly around herself and she avoided her eyes. Kara sighed.

“Lena,” she pleaded. “I broke your trust. Something you don't just hand out to anyone. It was misguided—I thought I was protecting you. I know I can be self-righteous and impulsive sometimes. But really…”

Kara trailed off. She lifted Lena’s chin to meet her eyes.

“You are the center of my universe.”

The sounds of the festivities meant to honor Lena floated up to the window. Outside, the sun had set completely and the moon gave the dorm room different kind of glow—ethereal and mystifying.

“You are smart and strong. You keep me grounded and you make me want to be better every day. You’re a hero in your own way—lord knows you and Winn have bailed me out countless times with your gadget-ma-bobs and torque wrenches.”

Lena’s lips curled into a small smile.

“You are capable of making your own decisions,” Kara continued. “I’m sorry that I took that away from you. I will work every day to regain your trust. I promise it.”

Lena pursed her lips. Kara pulled her in for a hug and smiled when Lena punched her arm.

“Ow,” Lena said, muffled by Kara’s chest. Kara laughed.

“Yeah…That didn’t work the last time you tried. Or the time before that. And the—”

“Kara.”

“Yes?”

“You can stop talking now.”

 

-

 

Kara listened as the current headmistress of Lena’s old boarding school talked about the recipient of the annual alumni award. Lena, for the most part, kept a small smile on her face and listened intently. She also held Kara’s hand tightly under the table.

Kara knew Lena couldn’t care less about recognition. She was uncomfortable, but only Kara could tell.

The headmistress carried on about the strides L-Corp had taken towards medical and technological advancements since Lena took the reins years ago. She called Lena a trailblazer in space exploration and sustainable energy, and noted her charitable work in a multitude of areas like human-alien relations and the global refugee crisis.

Finally, she asked the ‘beautiful Pulitzer Prize winning journalist sitting next to Miss Luthor’ if they could borrow Lena for a speech. This earned a blush from Kara as Lena genuinely smiled and kissed her hand.

 

-

 

The night dwindled down and Lena excused both of them for the evening. She then proceeded to lead Kara through the winding halls of the dormitory. They ran like a bunch of teenage girls. Lena laughed freely as she looked back at Kara. She had her shoes and a bottle of champagne in one hand and Kara’s hand in the other.

They stumbled into the same dorm room and laughed at nothing in particular.

“Care to help me fulfill a teenage fantasy, Miss Danvers?” Lena teased with a raised eyebrow.

Kara looked scandalized before she pulled Lena flush against her.

“You are a terrible influence.”

 “And you, my darling, are the center of my universe,” Lena whispered before she closed the gap between them.


	4. Seaside cottage, Carrigaholt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little long. oops

**II. Seaside cottage, Carrigaholt**

 

The sound of an engine shutting off jolted Kara awake.

“We’re here,” Lena said with a soft smile.

Kara looked around as Lena exited the rented car. They were at the end of a narrow gravel road, dotted with a few houses. She traced back the long shadows and squinted at the sinking sun. Salt water hit her nose as she stepped out—cold, refreshing, the same but different from the Pacific air she associated with National City.

Lena’s soft humming filtered over from the other side of the trunk and Kara smiled to herself.

She turned and faced the small stone cottage in front of her. There was a bright blue door matching the blue trim around the windows, with flowers hanging from a pot near the entryway. It was quaint and oddly calming, although Kara couldn’t pinpoint why.

Where were they?

“We’re in Carrigaholt,” Lena’s voice said, followed by the sound of the trunk closing. When Kara met her eyes, they were soft and her smile small but genuine. “This is the house I lived in before I became a Luthor.”

 

-

 

Kara had died.

When the last vestiges of CADMUS unleashed a monster (a titan from the old days of Greek yore, as Winn had so aptly put it) upon National City and took Lena, Kara called on her league of super friends to defend the city and save Lena. The titan was indestructible—engineered with Kara’s genetic material. It was essentially a Kryptonian.

In a last ditch attempt to defeat the titan, the league contained the monster while Kara used a kryptonite spear to finish the monster.

Despite her weakened state, Kara did the job. And the monster took her with it.

With a fang through her chest, Kara plummeted several hundred feet to her death.

 

-

 

Kara jolted awake. She bolted upright and clutched at her chest. After a few disorienting seconds, she calmed down and remembered where she was. Ireland. Carrigaholt. Lena’s hometown. Lena.

She turned and saw Lena’s side of the bed was empty. She made her way to the little kitchen and found a note next to a plate of food.

_Gone fishing. I should be back by noon. There’s more food in the oven._

Right. Lena had mentioned something about going out with fishermen on their morning run.

Kara smiled at the thought of Lena fishing. She bit into some toast and looked back out the window.

 

-

 

The Carrigaholt market opened fairly early. Kara saw that the fish stall was still being set up. There was no sign of Lena.

A small tug at her sleeve called her attention. There was a flower being shoved at her face and behind the large sunflower was a little girl.

“For me?”

The little girl nodded shyly. She bolted as soon as Kara took the flower.

“Thank you!” Kara called after her. The little girl stopped at the nearby flower stall and waved.

“Hi,” Kara said softly as she stopped by the stall. An older woman—likely the girl’s mom—looked up at her. Kara held up the flower in her hand. “I’d like to buy a bunch of these lovely flowers.”

“Oh dear,” the lady’s lilt sounded nice in Kara’s ears. “Did this wee one give you a flower?”

“She did,” Kara smiled at the little girl hiding behind her.

“Well that was nice of you, Sophie,” the lady continued.

“Thank you, Sophie,” Kara told the girl.

“Welcome,” the little girl said shyly.

“Kara!”

The three of them turned at the sound of Lena’s voice. There she was, in all her fishmongering glory, wearing rubber boots and carrying a cooler.

“Papa!” the little girl cried out. She flung herself at the legs of the man accompanying Lena. A teenage girl behind him almost dropped the cooler in her hands at the abrupt stoppage.

“Sophie!” The older girl cried out.

“Sorry!” Sophie said with a sheepish smile.

 

-

 

Kara learned, while she helped Lena unpack today’s haul, that the McGraths lived in the house down the road. Lena had met them when she first purchased her biological parents’ home.  They were kind and warm and taught Kara how to properly clean and gut the fish. It was refreshing to watch Lena wrangle slimy fish and laugh with little Sophie.

“Papa, where are the Oysters?” Sophie asked from where she was perched.

“Didn’t find any today, darling,” her dad explained.

“Oysters?” Kara asked Lena.

“Carrigaholt has an annual Oyster festival,” Lena explained. “It’s in a couple of days.”

“No oysters?” Sophie asked with a crestfallen face.

“No worries, Sophie mopy,” Her older sister chided. “We’ll get them tomorrow.”

“Can I come?” Kara asked out of the blue.

“Me too!” Sophie exclaimed excitedly. She had taken to Kara like a little girl with a case of hero worship.

“Well, with two lucky charms, we’ll definitely catch some now,” Lena joked, nudging Kara with her shoulder. Sophie blushed when Lena ruffled her hair.

 

-

 

“Do you ever think about what our life would have been like if we were just Kara and Lena?” Kara said quietly as they walked back to the cottage. “If you weren’t a Luthor and I wasn’t a Zor-El. And we just lived a quiet, mundane life.”

“I do.”

Kara looked at her, a surprised look on her face.

“Really?”

“Yes,” Lena explained. She smelled the flowers Kara had gotten her. “I somehow always imagine you as an art teacher.”

Kara laughed.

“I can see that. Are you an engineer in this imaginary world?”

“Something like that,” Lena continued. She opened the gate and let Kara in first. “We would have met in college. I wooed you with my hilarious jokes and cool science experiments. And a ton of sushi I had to work two jobs to pay for.”

Kara burst out laughing.

“Does our toaster still not work?”

“Yes, and for the same reason: Because you’re holding on to that death trap out of some weird superstition.”

“It’s not weird if it works.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Do our kids take after you and break apart toys and electronics?” Kara asked without even realizing what she had said. The tips of Lena’s ears turned red. She smiled softly and followed Kara to the front door.

“No, but they eat like you.”

 

-

 

Sophie had marshaled the troops in her quest to harvest oysters for the festival. She was at the bow with binoculars stuck to her face, expression scrunched up in concentration. 

Kara sat at the starboard side and watched the wake of water behind them. She absently touched her chest, feeling the imaginary spike that had impaled her to her (albeit temporary) death. 

"Hey," Lena said softly as she approached. She sat next to Kara and pulled her coat closer.

"Cold?"

"No, I'm fine," Lena answered with a shiver. Kara rolled her eyes and wrapped an arm around Lena to pull her closer.

After a few minutes of silence, Lena spoke.

"I could hear you thinking from the other side of the boat," Lena chided. 

"Didn't know you had super hearing."

"I don't. It's called telepathy," Lena teased. Kara smiled a weak smile. 

Lena pulled away a little and lifted Kara's chin. She looked a little lost. Like she had since the attack on Earth. 

"I heard you the other night," Kara started. "You were having a nightmare."

"I can say the same for you," Lena countered. Kara shook her head.

"You called out my name," She explained. 

Lena smiled and kissed her forehead. 

"I dream about watching you plummet to your death," Lena explained. "And I'm powerless every time."

Kara nodded. Sometimes she forgot that she wasn’t the only one still reeling from her death.

"Sometimes I feel it," she motioned to her chest. "Like I'm still impaled. It gets cold and then my vision fades.”

They're quiet for a while. The whirl of the engine and the lapping of the water floated through the air as they sat there in silence. 

"Lena," Kara started. "I don't know if I can wear that suit again."

Lena looked at her with a slightly surprised look on her face. Her face softened immediately and she took Kara's hand into hers.

"Then don't," She explained. "Whatever you decide, I'll be here."

"SOPHIE!"

They both bolted up and ran to the bow side when they heard Mrs. McGrath yell out her daughter's name. She was clutching the rails next to her older daughter. Mr. McGrath came running from the helm. Duncan the turtle was on the floor with binoculars. And Sophie was nowhere to be found.

"HELP!" They heard her gurgled scream. 

Kara immediately took a running start, jumping overboard. 

"Kara, no!" She heard Mrs. McGrath yell. 

She swam to where little Sophie struggled against the strong Atlantic waves. She was screaming and restless, arms flailing and legs kicking out desperately from underneath her. Kara pulled her close as soon as she reached her.

"I've got you! I've got you!" 

Sophie calmed down after a second. She cried and clung on to Kara, calling for her mom. 

"Sophie, I'm going to turn around okay? I need you to jump on my back. Like a piggyback ride--there you go. Okay, you and I are going to be back on that boat in no time."

Kara slowly swam toward the boat. Sophie clung tighter around her neck and buried her face further. She was shaking and Kara could hear her quiet sobs. Up ahead, Mr. McGrath lowered a ladder and reached down to pull Sophie out of the water. They were both quickly swaddled in blankets and ushered inside. Sophie hugged her mom and pulled Duncan the turtle in as soon as her sister produced it in front of her. She continued to cry and shake as her mom tried to soothe her with comforting sounds. Kara pulled the blanket closer and felt Lena's arms wrap around her. 

"Are you alright?" She whispered quietly. Kara nodded. 

"Thank you," Mrs. McGrath said sincerely with tears in her eyes. She looked at Kara with raw admiration. 

"I'm just glad she's okay," Kara gulped and adjusted her glasses.

 

-

 

Lena was filling the tub when she heard the sound. She frowned and got up. Kara was no longer in the kitchen where she left her, the blanket from the boat pooled on the floor. She followed the trail of water out of the cottage.

There stood Kara Zor-El, still sopping wet from head to toe. The sky behind her grumbled—gone was the bright sun behind storm clouds. She was a sight to behold, like a thunder god with the fury of a thousand lightning bolts. Without much of a preamble, Kara walked toward the cliff edge and jumped down.

It took Lena a lot longer to take the winding path down to the wave crashed cliff face below. The path was treacherous to say the least, but that wasn’t at the forefront of her mind.

She rounded the corner and found Kara. She had crushed boulder after boulder and Lena walked through the wake of destruction. When Kara unleashed her heat vision on the ocean and screamed a mighty scream, Lena was thankful for the cover of thunder and the approaching storm.

Kara stopped and grew silent. Waves kept on crashing and Lena tentatively moved closer.

When Kara turned, Lena’s heart broke. She saw her tear stained, grief stricken face.

Kara refused to be a tragedy. Kara Zor-El, who watched her home planet explode before her, who was lost in the cold darkness for years, who found her sole purpose on Earth—her cousin—no longer needed her. Kara Danvers, who was told to be invisible, to be normal, to wear glasses that hid who she was.

The same Kara, who silently watched the bright city lights because it reminded her of a life that once was. The same Kara, who woke up before Lena daily to make sure she ate breakfast.

“I can’t do this anymore Lena,” Kara sobbed into her neck. “I can’t. I’m so tired.”

“Kara…”

“They took you. And then I died and I left you alone. I left Alex alone. When I woke up and it was dark, I thought it was all a dream. That I was still stuck in the phantom zone. In some silent grave I’d never escape.”

Lena ran her hands down Kara’s back as she sobbed.

“It’s all gone, Lena. It’s all gone. And I’m the only one who remembers. And when I go, it’ll all be forgotten. I couldn’t bear the thought of…I can’t lose you too,” Kara mumbled. “I refuse to.”

“Hey, hey,” Lena pulled away and put Kara’s face in her hands. “I can’t promise you everything…but that’s the one thing that won’t happen.”

Kara’s silent tears urged Lena to continue.

“Kara,” Lena started. “Your strength, in the face of everything, inspires me every day. You wake up every morning and choose to believe in people. In every stranger whose life you save or whose story you tell. You choose to believe in humanity, every single day.”

“You are the sun, Kara,” she continued. “But even the sun hides behind clouds from time to time. You can be angry, and upset, and afraid, and brave at the same time. Do you understand?”

Kara nodded.

“Don’t let it stop your big heart from loving,” Lena murmured. She pulled Kara close and kissed the tip of her nose.

“And Krypton?” Lena continued. Kara looked up at the mention of her home. “It doesn’t have to die with you.  You have the power of words Kara. Tell your own story.”

Kara’s tears had subsided. Lena pulled her in for another hug and kissed her temple.

“I love you, always,” Lena whispered.

“I love you too.”

 

-

 

"I don't wanna go," Sophie pouted. She clutched her stuffed turtle and hid behind her mother's legs. Her dad, sister, Kara, and Lena were all on board the boat. They watched as she defiantly stood on the dock. She had sworn to never get on a boat again.

"Soph, come on," Her sister called out. "You love the ocean! You love our boat! Don't you want to take Duncan back to his home? Don't you want to find oysters?"

She pointed to the stuffed turtle that Sophie now clutched even tighter. She shook her head and turned away from the boat.

"No!"

"Darling, you can't be afraid of the water," Her father noted. "You live on an island!"

Sophie just shook her head and refused to turn around.

They were supposed to take a quick trip out to the ocean. This would be the first time Sophie would go back out since her accident. It was meant to help her feel safe out at sea again, surrounded by her family and new favorite friends. 

Kara looked at Lena before looking back at Sophie. She hopped off the boat and crouched next to Sophie.

“I’m scared,” Sophie whispered to Kara.

"I’m scared too,” Kara crouched down to her level. “Can you help me be brave?”

"Like a superhero?"

Kara laughed.

"Yeah, actually," Kara started. She could feel Lena's eyes on her. "You know what makes them brave?"

"...no."

"It's because they're also afraid. They're afraid of a lot of things," She glanced at Lena. "They're afraid of losing what they hold important in the world."

"Like Duncan?" Sophie motioned to the stuffed turtle.

"Just like Duncan," Kara nodded. "But they do the right thing despite being afraid. They do good, they do what they love, they live every day."

She held out her hand.

"You're Duncan's hero. And you're my hero," Kara smiled. "It's okay to be afraid. I’m afraid. But we shouldn't stop doing things we love because we're afraid."

Sophie hesitantly took her hand. She followed Kara to the boat and closed her eyes shut when her dad took her in his arms and hoisted her over. When she landed on the deck, she cracked one eye open.

"You're doing great," Lena said. Sophie blushed and hid behind her dad.

Later, after they'd been cruising for half an hour, Kara pulled Sophie on her lap. Lena pretended to tie knots as she listened to Kara tell Sophie a story about a little girl who had to be brave for her baby cousin. She talked about the little girl being afraid--of leaving her home, of never seeing her family again, of going to a strange and scary place where she knew no one. Kara continued as Sophie and Duncan listened intently. She explained that the girl had to be brave. She was all her baby cousin had and she had to be strong for him. 

Sophie was enraptured by the story. She begged Kara to continue. Lena watched freely now, knots forgotten. She looked on as Kara wove a fictitious retelling of her own journey from Krypton to Earth. 

"Her cousin grew up to be strong and happy and good--"

"But what about the little girl? Is she happy too?" Sophie asked, personally invested in the happiness of Kara's heroine. 

"You bet she is," Kara answered. She gave Lena a meaningful look over Sophie's head. "She met a beautiful girl and fell in love."

"Beautiful like Lena?" Sophie asked shyly. 

"Beautiful like Lena," Kara confirmed with a wink. Lena turned bright red behind them and Kara laughed.

"Oysters!" yelled Sophie's sister. "It's harvesting time!"

Sophie jumped off Kara's lap and ran to the other side of the deck. She tugged at her sister's pants and asked for the binoculars. When she laughed in glee as she found the oysters on the reef, Kara smiled and pulled Lena in for a hug.

"How are you feeling?" Lena asked. 

"Never been better," Kara hummed.

 

-

 

"Faster!" 

"Are you sure?"

"Uh huh!" Sophie yelled. She clung on as Kara spun her around on the dance floor. 

The Oyster fest was well underway. It was a crisp spring night in Carrigaholt. Kara and Lena helped string lights criss-crossing above the long farm table with mismatched chairs and above the makeshift dance floor. Sophie had covered her ears at one point during dinner, with the boisterous laughter and conversation flowing over the table. Kara had laughed and laughed at the Murphy brothers' jokes and had eaten plate after plate of oyster. She cheered to the good health of all eight O'Donnell siblings (the youngest had turned 72) and drank her weight in the heavy stout her and Lena had helped bring over from the local brewpub.

She watched Lena glow like an ethereal beauty, so at ease and so in her element. She whispered those words in Lena's ear throughout the night, delighted in every blush she elicited. And when the McGraths stood up and toasted to the two of them, Kara felt the warmth spread from her chest as she watched everyone raise their glass and smile. 

"I'm getting dizzy, Soph," Kara laughed. She slowed to a stop and pulled Sophie closer. 

Sophie was giggling mightily. She kissed Kara on the cheek. Kara turned slightly and spotted Lena looking at her. She was in the middle of a heated conversation with some folks (likely rugby related) but she clearly was no longer paying attention. She had been watching Kara and Sophie for some time. Her eyes were twinkling and her face was soft in the dim light.

"Hi Lena!" Sophie giggled out, waving at Lena. Kara gave her a small smile. 

Lena waved back. She watched as Kara whispered something in Sophie's ear before she lowered her to the ground. Sophie ran over and pulled Lena along.

Lena laughed, dodging the other dancers. Sophie stopped abruptly and she found herself with an armful of Kara. 

"Hi," Kara said shyly.

"Hi," Lena whispered back.

"Wanna dance?" Kara wiggled her eyebrows. Lena laughed.

"I'd love to."

 

-

 

“Did you see Sophie’s face when that little boy gave her a flower crown?” Kara giggled, her face illuminated by the fire. She was wrapped in a blanket next to the fire place in the cottage. A steaming mug of mulled wine appeared in front of her as Lena took her seat on the floor.

“I did,” Lena replied. “You weren’t very stealthy while you spied on them.”

“I can do stealthy,” Kara countered. “I’m a reporter!”

Lena just laughed at Kara’s antics.

"I thought about what you said earlier," Kara said quietly. "Writing about Krypton."

Lena nodded. She watched as Kara threw another log into the fire. She poked it around and watched the embers glow.

"I think I'm going to do it. I felt better after sharing a little bit with Sophie, even if she thought it was just a made up story."

Lena smiled at her.

"It certainly made her feel better," Lena noted. "It gave her the courage to get back on the boat."

"Mhmm."

Kara's hands gestured as she elaborated. She talked about creating artwork to illustrate her stories, perhaps even a comic book. She animatedly described potential plots and other planets she could include in the narrative. Lena smiled in silent awe, happy to see her Kara had started truly healing.

"It's a little unfortunate people will think it's made up."

"They don't have to," Lena countered. "You can make this as real as you want. It's all up to you."

Kara pursed her lips as she churned her thoughts around what Lena had said. 

"Maybe..."

She moved over and curled around Lena from behind. Lena laughed as Kara kissed her cheek by her ear. 

"What was that for?"

"Thank you," Kara said quietly. "For bringing me here. For saving me."

Lena pulled away a little to look at her. Kara continued.

"You can't really begin to find yourself if you don't even know you're lost." 

Kara looked at her intently.

"So...thank you."

"All in a day's work for a hero," She whispered teasingly. 

"That you are," Kara paused. "I think I'm ready to go home now."

Lena smiled softly.

"Then go home we shall."


	5. somewhere, National City

**I. Somewhere, National City**

“Lena, where are we going?” Kara laughed slightly as she held on tightly to Lena’s soft hand. She squeezed her eyes shut. She could still smell the smoke in her hair. She had just gotten home from rescuing workers caught in a factory blaze when Lena appeared with a blindfold and a grin that implied she was up to no good. She promptly shoved her into her car and started driving to god knows where.

“No cheating with x-ray vision,” Lena chided in front of her.

Kara could hear the crunching of leaves and twigs under her feet, the branches pushed out of the way as they walked to some hidden location. She also heard the faint sound of waves crashing against rocks.

“Okay,” Lena said as Kara felt her hands on her shoulders. “We’re here.”

Kara crinkled her nose.

“I smell the ocean,” She supplied. “And I can hear birds. And that’s either a landslide or your heart pounding, I can’t tell.

“This isn’t a guessing game, Miss-I-have-super-senses,” Lena scoffed, taking the blindfold off.

Kara opened her eyes.

In front of her was the ocean and behind her the cliff face. And all around her were tiny candles laid out on the ground. She walked along the line of candles, attempting to figure out the pattern on the ground. When she got closer to the edge, she looked down at the waves crashing below.

She turned to face Lena, who walked toward her.

“This,” Lena started, taking Kara’s hand into hers. “Is where the house I will build for us is going to stand. I can build a long, winding driveway through the trees and back to the road. Build an entire wall with windows so we can watch the ocean and the sunset from right here. Our useless toaster can sit in this corner, where I will conveniently dump it into the ocean.”

Kara laughed. Lena had a smirk on her face.

“We’ll have enough room for a dog or two. Maybe even a cat.”

 Lena turned to look at Kara and quietly continued.

“And children, if you want them.”

Kara swallowed hard, forcing the bubbling feeling down to let Lena finish her speech. She always got a little peeved when Kara jumped to the end in excitement.

“This is where I’m hoping we’ll build our life together—”

“YES!”

Well, she held on for a whopping two seconds.

“If you’ll have me—”

“YES!”

“Kara.”

“Sorry.”

“Kara Zor-El, will you marry me?”

Kara cupped Lena’s face and pulled her in for a kiss.

“Yes,” She whispered quietly.


End file.
